Mr. Burke’s science corner

Waterworld won’t be that bad.

Hello, my name is Travis Burke, I’m a theoretical scientist. You probably haven’t heard of me, but that’s okay, there’s 3.2 million scientists just like me. Everyone of us has a different view, but you have to believe them all, because we are scientists. I hope you look to me for more science shit because unlike those other guys I keep my research papers short and to the point. So listen up. Al Gore tried to warn you of the impending doom of climate change, but everyone mocked him and called him a man bear pig. The planets burning up, and water in the country is already drying out. Ice caps melt and shit but won’t matter, the planet will be so hot by then the water will evaporate and dry up over time. Kills the soil and you can’t grow shit. You’re fucked. You better figure out how to get to Mars.

Where humans come from

Theoretical Science Time featuring Dr Travis Burke TPHD. The age old question that’s plagued us for years…how did we get here? Well my friends, I have done many minutes of research, and I have the answers. Once upon a time a caveman and cave lady were sniffing each other’s ass and freezing to death, when the heard a noise. Aliens had landed. They were just in the neighborhood and wanted to scope the place out. The cave man was so amazed he hit the cave woman on the head with a rock and killed her. The aliens were amazed, they quickly realized they needed to help. That’s when, something amazing happened. The alien lady proceeded to sex up the cave man. She had to do it, it was for the greater good for the human race. 30 minutes later a baby was born that looked like man as we know it today. The aliens hung on for many years until one day they had to go. As they were boarding the ship to leave a voice yelled out “what will we tell everyone, nobody will believe us”…….the aliens looked back and said “we will leave you with a gift that no man could ever build with your technology”….the ship took off and a light flashed….when the light was gone, there they stood…..the pyramids..